The Green Inferno Movie Review

The Green Inferno

Or is it just Green Inferno? Whatever, there is no saving this title for how bad this movie was.. wow.

Honestly, I can’t believe how bad it is. Looking at the previews and seeing how intense it is I was all in! Right away the shitty and the anything but heartfelt acting was annoying and C level at best. My friend dragged me to go with him and his brother, and sure as a suck I said yes. The theater was completely empty no surprise there, should’ve connected the two at the time but I figured oh well it’s the middle of the week whatever! (Thursday) Yeah the story or plot is about these college kids trying to save the amazon and make a stand, and come as one to protect, and by doing so you put yourself on the line. Yeah, they should’ve died at that point. So yeah here comes this freshman of the group who doesn’t know a thing about the organization, “Sure I’ll go out to the amazon rain forest!” No disclaimer from the maker of it all about guns or any type of refuge, hell, no research what so ever was put into this travel. Anyway they come into contact with a cannibal tribe, (a legit tribe). The actual tribe was the coolest thing in the movie, hands down. First time upon camera, and the acting by them was by far the most superb. The realistic practices and worshiping left me with the only parts I liked without walking out of the movie.

So yeah this movie was such a waste of time I haven’t seen a bad movie in theaters in a long time. The gore and the blood was actually worthy of a mention in how awesome that was (in the beginning) the rest of the movie flopped in that department too. No character development nor is there any sympathy for the annoying characters. There is legitimately a scene where the leader of the group, who is the biggest douche of all time, and freak starts jerking off for no apparent reason. “I need to relieve stress,” What the actual fuck? Mind you he is in a cage and with other 3 members of the group that are trapped and here is this guy that is choking his hog in front of children within the tribe, hard to say out of context but Jesus.

I would throw in the spoiler but the spoiler absolutely left me outraged, So there’s no point to write it. If you want to watch a laughable acting movie with gore and blood, and jerking off, ya know the fun family movie out with the guys drink a few beers.


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